Step by Step, day by day...

This week has been another tough one.  It’s not even taking it ‘day by day’, it’s more like hour by hour.  Sometimes I wake up and I lay in my (cozy) bed, covered with my quilt my mom and her sisters slaved over making for me, and I just wonder why I decided to do this.  And then I’ll get up, take the dogs out to play in the snow, get my Starbucks and listen to a fist-pump-worthy song and I think that this was a great decision and it’ll be awesome!  So I literally seem to go back and forth daily about my contentment with being here.  I knew this would happen.  Everyone that I know of that has made a big move said it would suck. bad. for the first little while and then it gets better and you never look back. 

                Now that’s not to say I’m dragging around sayin ‘woe is me’ because that is NOT the case.  I refuse.  The great thing about it being an hour by hour emotional rollercoaster is I only have to wait a little while before I’m glad about moving here again.  Another big thing has been my friends here.  I try to be fiercely independent, but sometimes you just need/want some help.  Having my miniature handful of friends up here that mean a lot to me close by has helped me tremendously.  It is kind of an interesting feeling though I must admit.  So I’ve got these friends here, who I know without a doubt that care about me, want to look out and protect me, and also be around me, but at the same time, these same friends, I still don’t know that well.  For those who don’t know (ill spend another awesome blog post explaining more in depth) but my friends up here I had only previously been around for a total of around 15 days, stretched between three visits over 7 months.  The way the friendships grew were 98% digitally via text, facebook, and occasional phone call or skype session.  And as my intelligent mother says “you know someone but you don’t really know someone when its been a digital relationship”.  So while I feel extremely close with these people, it’s also been so nice to get to know them better at the same time.  I can talk to them about people at home and things that I miss and they know who I’m talking about, but at the same time I don’t their favorite beer or how crazy of a driver they are (SN: apparently doing a 360 in a vehicle is called a ‘Brody’ and Matthew popped that cherry Friday night while trying to turn, downhill, in the snow).  So that has been a great adventure in itself, not only getting to know completely new people, but getting to know my friends too. 

                Work is going well, hospital orientation is over (PHEW!) so I’m back on the unit with a preceptor.  It’s still a challenge getting to know who to call when this or that happens, or what to do when someone asks for French toast instead of their Rice Krispies.  I’m so thankful for all the experience I got at Duke, I know it has helped me so much have the confidence needed to make such a transition. 

                Lastly want to say that I appreciate people back home beyond words.  I love being able to talk to my parents every single day, even if its just for a couple minutes.  Love to hear about the progress my mom is making in regards to her endurance and energy level as she moves further and further past her treatment dates.  Also like hearing my dad not as stressed out with work and to hear him doing fun things (for him at least) like planting a tree as he did today.  I like talking on the phone with my friends, catching them up with my life and hearing about theirs.  It’s those select few that make me really appreciate the friendships I have gained over my life, some just a few years in the making and a couple close to eight. 

Never stop making progress in life and as my dear friend Adwoa told me tonight, sometimes you just need to give yourself permission to create options and envision new goals.   

Matthew and I being entertained with karaoke night

hiking up the butte

a glacier! forgot name of it...

Bald eagle!  His mate was flying around too,  but i couldnt catch them both in the pic

Laura and the pups making the trek

Laura and I at the Butte



Mountains across from Butte

i so wish i had gotten some pics with the pups, but i thought this was a cute one with Laura and Lexi at our little ledge we hung out and chatted on while we were hiking up the Butte.



this pic was the sunday before i left NC, was so nice to hang out with my dear friend Adwoa then and still amazing to catch up frequently from afar.